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The Whale

from Field Notes by Sims

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about

Produced by Cecil Otter

lyrics

All you ever seem to say is, “probably not today”
and all you ever seem to do is come up with some new excuses
and I was reaching out
but hey, I can’t wait forever

And it’s true, that new development
burning element took your home from you
forced your hand to move
nothing else to do
high demand no other plan
you’ve got everything to lose
she’s yelling always, all day
she takes your shit to the hallway
you’re quiet, you hide it
but your eyes tell what you won’t say
you feel bad, smoke good
think about your own dad and how could you
carve your name in that rosewood
you drink, you sniff, you pop
that might get you through the evening
god dam this hell is hot
you flirt, you touch, you fuck
that might get you to the AM
might change a bit of luck
it’s that violence under your eyelids
you swim to the closest island
so busy emptying the bottle
you didn't see the message
you passed over those passing ships
staring at your wreckage
and you closed every door
while I was there
ready to step in

all the noise can’t prepare you for how quiet that storm gets
the whale
the whale
the whale
the harpoon
the whale

And I was mad at how you shut me out
how many second chances that you get
and fuck up
and I scream get over it
knuckle up you fucking chump
and I know enough
but that’s not enough
you’re loyal as a dog
and you’re sick as one as well
you try to hide your eyes
but everyone can tell
you’re so far beneath the floor that
you can’t even see the ceiling
waiting on that good old
that good old feeling
that knot in your pocket to stop you from sobbing
puts a block in your thoughts but it’s not stopping your problems
and I want to say something
but I’m afraid that’ll be nothing
that all you’l hear is a judgement
like somehow I’m above it
so I turn a cheek and I walk away
but just this week I heard them say
what you do with your pay
and I felt pain, and I felt shame
and I’ve done this once before
when I tried to save my old man from chasing that fish out to sea
but he was too far out of reach
lucky me, he hit bottom
washed up safely on the beach
not the same for Mikey
R.I.P EYE
I think about him every week
I think about you even more
hoping you’ll find peace at war
or tell yourself to cease fire
I wrote this in place of writing you a eulogy
so please excuse my use of—
it’s not my usually
the whale
the whale
the whale
the harpoon
the whale

credits

from Field Notes, released September 2, 2014
A. Sims (Sims is a Business ASCAP), K. Smith (Rebel Yellow ASCAP)

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all rights reserved

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Sims Minneapolis, Minnesota

Life and loss and dance parties. Sex and love and fractal math. Sims wrote More Than Ever last winter in the wake of some personally trying times: death and sickness in his immediate circle of friends and family. And he decided that the only acceptable answer to big loss is big joy—urgent, defiant, unapologetic joy. ... more

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